Relationships can be hard and confronting, and most relationships go through dark and challenging phases. I am a fellow traveller in the relationship quagmire. The relationship with my partner of 25 years, with whom I am very lucky to have a beautiful son, is an enormous source of motivation and inspiration, and provides ceaseless professional fodder. Like all couples who brave the mine-field of couple hood, we too experience the full gamut of relationship’s ups and downs.
This keeps me humble, and helps me relate with the struggles that you as a couple bring in a direct way.
Your Relationship is my Client
Like plants, our relationships wilt without good attention and care. We also need knowledge and understanding of what we need to help our relationships stay healthy and secure.
My work supports and motivates you as a couple, with a strong coaching component, as well as important emotional cognitive process work. Together we will work to deeply understand and identify your relationship issues.
The following are often key areas of focus in my work:
Unhooking from dysfunctional conflict patterns
Developing capacity to have difficult conversations effectively and confidently
Learning how to repair well
Cultivation of healthy relational boundaries
Understanding your couple dynamic & how to unhook
Understanding your attachment styles
Understanding the impact of family history on your relationship where relevant
Specialist Focus areas are:
Cross cultural Relationships
Bringing 10 years experience of working with couples, and a wide breadth of training, my approach will be tailored to your specific relationship needs. I have been very grateful for the invaluable specialist training I have received from some of the leading thinkers on relationship health. This has included: The Gottman Method, Susan Johnson’s EFT, Hakomi Couples Work, Terry Real’s RLT approach, Doug Southeren -The Art of Relationship and Esther Perel “Working with the Erotic.
I am a passionate supporter of LGBTI & have extensive experience with same-sex couples.
Sometimes when we are struggling in our intimate and close relationships, or dealing with loss & separation, or needing help to navigate work place issues, one on one counselling can be a poignant and powerful sanctuary for confidential and compassionate support, self- reflection and exploration.
When stuck in dissatisfying and difficult relationship dynamics, people come to me to gain deeper understanding and insight into particular patterns at play, build relational mindfulness and find ways to shift and transform into relational health and wellbeing.
People also see me to help with recovery from loss or separation. Dealing with loss, wether it’s the loss of a relationship, navigating transition into parenthood or co-parenting, or losing a job – these experiences can be overwhelming and profoundly disorientating. Support to navigate and ensure a healthy grief process is invaluable.
Underpinning my approach to everyone I work with, is a deep reverence for each persons humanity, vulnerability and change potential. Socrates rightly said that “an unexamined life is not worth living,’ and I am passionate about providing a safe, creative intelligent holding to begin your own self examination.
In all my therapy interventions, I will be serving your relational awareness building process, to support conditions for relationship health. I use a creative, trauma informed, integrated approach in my work, and combine relational, cognitive & somatic psychotherapy techniques with research in neurobiology, attachment and mindfulness.
Sometimes people come to me for a few sessions to deal with a specific issue, others engage with me for longer term psychotherapy work. Individuals who are struggling with an intimate relationship maybe be encouraged to engage in a joint relationship counselling process.